


Top weirdest things branch walked in on

by Whiplash_thunderstorm



Category: Trolls (Movies 2016 2020), Trolls: TrollsTopia (Cartoon)
Genre: Awkwardness, Branch needs an extra mug of coffe, Cosplay, Cults, Stalking, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:53:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29868723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiplash_thunderstorm/pseuds/Whiplash_thunderstorm
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

Branch was walking over to Biggies pod that day to deliver some flowers. Biggie needed some new kinds of flora for a project of his. So naturally he asked Branch if he could fetch him some. Branch already had an idea of more rare and unusual flowers. He had a good bunch in his garden and had no trouble finding others. He was more curious as two what kind of project he was working on. Especially one that needed so many flowers! He got a few samples but once biggie found the one he'll more than likely order a ton more. 

He arrived at the door of the pod with a rapid tapping as he waited. After three minutes he rung Biggies door bell. After two minutes he got worried for his friend. Usually Biggie answers the door within a minute or calls for him to wait. Fishing from his pockets a spare key he fitted them into the door. Upon opening the door Branch was met with a peculiar sight. Biggies living room was a mess! Rolls of fabric and torn up scraps littered the floor. Scissors and glue were out and it looked like he had guest over recently too! What on earth was biggie doing? 

Biggie looked up at the top of stairs at the figure above him. Synth looked dead at the floor not knowing what to do. Satin and chenille looked at each other as they were caught red handed. 

Branch looked down at them all gathered in the basement of the pod. Biggie and synth however really shocked him however. Both men were wearing maid outfits and a strange music was playing. With these maid outfits he couldn't help but notice something else. On top of being maids they were wearing bunny and cat ears accompanied with paw like gloves.

"I'm scared to ask but um..... What are you doing?" Branch asked quietly standing awkwardly in front of them.

".....Cosplay." Synth spoke plainly not seeing the point in hiding it. 

Another silence fell upon them as they stood in place. 

"I got the flowers...." Branch tried as he held them up for them to see.


	2. Bookshelves

Branch sighed as he came across the pod with the address. Poppy had bought something and needed to pick it up from the pod. However thing's came up so she couldn't so she asked him. 

Branch stood at the door questioning his entire life. Behind the door was nothing but yelling. He reached for the door but it flew open to an angry face. The woman grabbed his shoulder and brought him into the pod. 

"LET ME GUESS YOU WANNA F*** THIS ONE TOO? HUH! IS THAT WHY HE'S HERE!" The woman screeched behind him as Branch looked around the pod. 

The place was under renovation and seemingly being refurnished. In front of him was none other was a man in only a robe. 

"NO! OF COARSE NOT! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG!" The man yelled loudly back at her. 

"IM JUST HERE TO PICK UP BOOKSHELF!" Branch cried in distress as he was shoved. 

The woman screamed as she left leaving the two of them alone. 

".....so you still want that bookshelf?" The troll asked him nonchalantly as if nothing happened. 

Branch was working on getting down the stairs with the heavy wood. The mood would have turn to normal if it weren't for the sobbing man. Apparently not only was he getting the bookshelf but a whole life story. That includes the fact the man had cheated on his wife cause his wife cheated first. The whole story was messed up but Branch couldn't pay attention to that. Especially with the heavy load that could crush him seconds flat. He would use his hair usually but the couple had a no hair in the house policy of some kind. The walls were being repainted and they didn't want them ruined. The man somehow pulled himself together only to lose it all in 0.5 seconds. That includes his grip on the bookshelf as he cried. The bookshelf tumbled and flattened branch without halt. Then it hit the chandelier and tumbled into a newly painted wall now crater. Branch held his nose as it bleed from impact. The man stood above him with a deranged look in his eye's. Suddenly a laugh was heard as his mind changed gears completely. 

Branch watched in horror as he ran across the house hungry. The wall was a start but now the man was looking for nothing but destruction. The top of the stairs rained water from the bathroom and the stove screamed fire. Branch was scared watching them run around with a sledgehammer. When the wife got home was when it got interesting. She insisted that she join her husband and ran a WHOLE VEHICLE INTO THE POD! What was wrong with this couple?


	3. Chapter 3

Branch woke up in the middle of the night to sit up. Once he realized where he was he calmed down a bit releasing a breathe. He, Poppy and the delegates were staying together in a hotel. The apartment was very luxurious to the point it made him dizzy. It was spacious and very nice but it wasn't his style. He didn't see the need for half the flashy things it came with. Thirsty he stood up and walked down a dark hall. Upon entering the living room he quickly realized he was not the only one up. 

Hunched over the kitchen sink with a death grip on the counter. She shook as she gagged and choked it all up. The lumps in her throat passed her lips roughly. The black stones encased in a mixture of her blood, saliva and other stuff. White lines drawn upon each one glowed in the dim room. She felt light and sick as she hacked up the last one. She caught it to look at it with a haze vision. She turned around to the feeling of eye's to go pale. Their body faced them still as sharp eye's was all she saw. Their face and body were shadowed as they faced away from the moonlit Windows. They stood straight towering over her. Their broad shoulders and toned body one big mass that could easily take her. 

Branch sat on the couch not sure what the frick he just saw. He held an ice pack to his face to ease the pain. Val sat beside him equally silent as she held the bloody cloth to her nose. Neither knew how to go about the conversation but they both had questions. Branch lifted his cup of water to his lips with shaking hands. 

"So.....why are you up?" Val took a stab at it clasping her hands together. 

Branch put his glass down to take a breathe. 

"Got thirsty.... Were you vomiting rocks?..." Branch turned to look at her with a pale face.

Val felt her breathing come to a small halt. 

"We rock trolls swallow specialized rocks to help us digest stuff.... They come back up once a month to be cleaned.... The white marks I added just for decor.." Val explained wishing to be anywhere but now. 

The said stones were currently soaking in the sink. Branch having watched the process not knowing what it was nearly killed him. Hopefully he would not be here to watch her swallow the stones....

Branch stood up on wobbling leges as he cleared his throat to speak. 

"I-im gonna turn in and uh.... Leave it to you...." Branch spoke weary as he then made his way back. 

"And don't go scaring anyone else!" Val called after him awkwardly trying to be playful.


	4. Fan club

Branch hurriedly closed in on Poppy's pod with a book in hand. Poppy had left it behind in his bunker and hadn't came over to pick it up! So he decided to pay his friends a visit and drop it off. However upon closing in on the door he realized something. It sounded like poppy had guest over and by the sound of it allot of em! 

Poppy stared at the door eye's blown wide open. She had been caught red handed as everyone else. Branch stood at her doorway in complete shock in silence. Their were not just the delegates and rulers in the pod. The bounty Hunter's and numerous other trolls were all in there. So were body pillows, posters, action figures, even freaking playing cards! But everywhere he looked their he was on every item.

"It's not what you think!" Poppy tried as she stood up to meet him.

"It's exactly what you think it is..." Val told him honestly causing poppy to try and shush her.

Synth and Lownote quickly tried to hide their Branch body pillows. Biggie stood infront of the Branch based snacks. Satin and chenille ended up playing tug of war to hide a poster. The leaders held their own little trinkets not seeing the point in hiding. 

Branch put the book on the coffee table and slowly backed away. Chaz had another idea as he played his saxophone filling the room in jazz. 

Branch slept peacefully laid out on the couch. He was snuggled up adorably against the jazz troll. Quite proud of himself he held the little pop troll to him. He smiled as he watched the cosplay competition.


End file.
